Today we are talking about etiquette and my job, because when you get down to it, my job is about two things: etiquette and indentured servitude.
So I am a waitress, yes? At a mid price range restaurant (meals vary between 15.00 and 25.00 a person for dinner before drinks, without appetizers) which is probably one of the more expensive places to eat in the downtown area. We serve burgers and fries, but they’re not exactly fast food. At the same time, we’re not fancy. Basically, we attract a wide array of customers. Everyone, from families with young, crying, children, to couples out for a romantic dinner, to groups of businessmen out for after work drinks. Oh, and foreigners… they love us. I have a theory that we’re in some major German guidebook.
Momentary interruption: I want to preface what I’m about to say by saying that I know I am good at my job. I’ve been doing it long enough to know the tips and tricks, and I know when I’m doing a good job at my job. I believe in working for tips. I don’t really consider my employer to be the restaurant I work at, because the restaurant only pays me minimum wage. Financial opportunity lies in the customers – they’re my true employers. This understanding has made me a better server than most. Onward story…
Some people really aren’t worth the effort. Tonight, for instance, had a particularly terrible ending. It’s disappointing to realize that regardless of effort and attention, some people are going to tip double the tax (which, by the way, is a ridiculous system where you end up tipping the server terribly… Usually less than 13%, since many restaurant items are ‘pre-taxed’). One table stands out in my mind.
They seemed lovely, at first (ominous, no?)… I greeted them, sat them, told them about the night’s special (uninterested, no big deal) and asked them if they’d like drinks. The mother asked me if we serve burgers at dinner, and I replied that we do. She seemed happy, and so I left them with their menus for a few minutes. Once they appeared to be decided, I went over and asked them what they’d like. They asked me some questions about burgers, and I was surprisingly candid (more so than normal). For instance, I told them that I haven’t eaten a hamburger in well over six years, but I also told them that I had sold quite a few burgers, and I knew what people enjoyed on a regular basis. It was all going swimmingly until the mother asked for her burger medium rare. It went something like this…
Her: “I’ll take the mustang burger, medium rare…”
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Unfortunately it is against the law for us to serve rare burgers in California. I apologize for the inconvenience… Would medium be alright?”
Her: “Well, I said medium rare.”
Me: “Unfortunately medium is the closest when can get, but I assure you, the burger won’t be dry.”
Her: “But I have rare burgers all the time. That’s not a law, you’re lying.”
At this point I’m starting to realize that this may be a big deal.
Her, to her daughter while I stand right there: “She’s lying. That’s not a law.”
Me: “Would you like to speak with a manager, ma’am?”
Her: “No, because he’ll just lie too. You’re propagating a lie.” (That, I recall, is a direct quote).
Me: “Ma’am, to the best of my knowledge, I am not lying. This law may be local, I am not sure. I do know I have been told that it is illegal to serve a rare hamburger here. I apologize for the inconvenience. Are you sure you wouldn’t like to speak with a manager? I’m sure he could explain it better than I.”
Her: “No. He’ll just lie. I’ll get something else…”
You know it’s bad when you offer the manager up twice. At that point, the daughter intervened and tried to calm her whining mother down. I wished they would just get fed up and leave (which the mother kept threatening to do – I thought, why threaten? Do it!), but they ended up staying. She ordered a hamburger, it looked great, but not rare. Probably berated by her embarrassed daughter after I left, she was better behaved the rest of the time.
And I’m mostly over it – mostly – but since when is it OK to call someone a liar just because they’re not telling you what you want to hear? It’s an especially unfair thing to do to a customer service worker, because that person cannot respond to the accusation. What am I supposed to say? It doesn’t behoove me to lie to customers. In fact, my best tips come from people who are thoroughly satisfied and happy, so that is the way I want my customers to be. What would compel me to lie? I don’t make the food myself, I am not personally offended by rare hamburgers.
What I am personally offended by is being called a liar; particularly when I am being purposefully candid in the hopes of helping a few people make dining decisions. This is where the etiquette comes in. It is rude to call someone a liar, and it is rude to abuse food service workers. When friends ask me how I handle being occasionally mistreated at work, I tell them that I forgive most transgressions because I understand that unless someone is a service worker or naturally sensitive, it is easy to forget that your waiter is a human being, rather than some food-delivering, water-refilling cyborg.
Incidentally, I just did some online research and found a few food safety links on the preparation of meats. Essentially, ground beef must be cooked to a center temperature of at least 155 degrees Fahrenheit, which is roughly medium.
State Law Req.’s for Cooking Meat
So, you eat rare burgers all the time, huh? Good for you.
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