mini-masochist

Pastime of late:

Googling phrases like: “bad waiter,” or “terrible service.” Or sometimes, like today, I’ll just search WordPress for a simple “waiter.” These searches turn up hundreds of angsty responses; they range in both depth and and nature. Some are short little complaints – everyday doldrums – sentences like: “My wife recieved her steak cooked wrong, so we left without dessert.” These are boring, and not the sort of thing I’m looking for.

No, I hunt for greater prey. What I want are the scalding diatribes of the angry consumer, the injured customer… the absolute idiot. Someone who didn’t receive their extra dressing in 1.3 seconds flat and is now set upon vengeance.

I first discovered customer anger outletting via Craigslist. Someone showed me the ‘rants’ section and I searched ‘waitress,’ and the floodgates were opened. Some poor, unsuspecting waitress posted a fairly tame rant about not receiving a tip, but – oh! the responses! With ferocity she was attacked by all sides, ranging from the dumb (“I bet you’re a terrible fucking waitress!”) to the dumber (“I never tip, and I’m very needy. Servers don’t know until I’m already gone!”), and finally to the downright ridiculous (“Waiters don’t deserve tips… I don’t get tipped, so why should they?”). It’s not the differing opinions that drew me in, but the vehemence with which they spouted.

I search at least partly because I’m interested in the other side, as it were. I’ve been on the industry side of the fence for awhile, and it’s hard to imagine seeing the restaurant world through any eyes but my own. Now, that having been said, I can be a tough customer. I expect to be treated as well as I treat my own customers, within reason. I make a lot of concessions for busy servers, kitchens, and other tales of ’service gone awry,’ but I do not like being blatantly mistreated. So that I can empathize with… Only, no one seems to complain about that sort of mistreatment. Instead people bitch and moan about, well, nothing.

And then I end up thinking about the time some outrageous woman ordered a salad which had Gorgonzola on it, as was stated clearly in the menu. Upon its arrival, she proceeded to chew me out, saying that she was “allergic to cheese,” and why had cheese been “added to her meal?” I informed her that the salad came with Gorgonzola, I was sorry she hadn’t seen as much in the menu. It would be a few minutes, but another salad could be procured. Her response?

“Why didn’t you say that Gorgonzola means cheese?”

Oh, and…

“I had better get a discount on this.”